10 Things I want to See In a Majora's Mask Remake

If you haven't heard, Ocarina of Time on the 3DS will include new stuff like the Master Quest edition. That give me hope that one day I'll be able to play my personal favorite Zelda game, Majora's Mask on the go with updated real 3D graphics. But, my optimistic side is thinking, what if Nintendo got off their asses and decided to actually IMPROVE their product, instead of just polishing the graphics and relying on their fanbase's compulsion to buy it all again? With that in mind, here are my Top Ten things I want to see in a Majora's Mask remake.

10) Fix Link's Music Poses

Whenever Link plays a song while transformed, he goes into a wild, generic riff, either belting it out on his pipes, his drums, or his electric guitar like an amateur. Obviously, they did this originally to save space, but now I want to see the movements match the song. Considering there never any instance where each of the transformations has to play the other race's "Temple Song," all I really want is custom animation whenever each transformation plays their Temple Song. It's a small complaint, and it only really bugs me for the Goron transformation. Goron's Lullaby is a sweet song, but they have Goron Link pounding the drums like a retarded kid on the bongos.

9) Add Some of Link's New Moves

I've been replaying Majora's Mask recently, and going back to Link only having only three moves (Attack, Jump Attack, Spin Attack) really makes me miss his "Parry" that they added in Wind Waker. Fighting bosses like the King of Ikana and the Garo Master would be much cooler (and easier) if I could just jump behind them and attack. It might even make a normal battle with Majora itself more manageable. Have you ever tried fighting Majora without the Fierce Deity's Mask? I did it once. It is tough with the four other Boss Masks trying to fire-rape you.

8) Add the Masks from Ocarina of Time

Why isn’t the Gerudo Mask in the game? I’m not suggesting they add a new dungeon and transformation for Link (though they could), but my OCD compels me to wonder why they didn’t reuse the missing masks from OoT? They could add some new sidequests to earn them, which leads me to…

7) Add 5 Things to the Bomber's Notebook

Did you know there are only 20 subquests in the Bomber’s Notebook? Before replaying it, I could have sworn there were 30 in all. There needs to be new material in the remake, they have some spare masks that need handing out, so add a few more entries to the Bomber’s Notebook.

6) Explain the Ikana Region Better

I’m trying my best to stay out of fanfic stuff, but the Ikana region is one big mystery. Where do the Garos come from? Why is Ikana fighting with the Garos? And what exactly does the Stone Tower have to do with everything? Is this where Majora’s Mask was originally enshrined as some fan-theories speculate? Better yet, explain everything pertaining to Majora’s Mask better. Is Termina really a pocket dimension because I don’t think so.

5) Reuse the Big Empty Spaces 

Have you ever explored the Goron Raceway at night? How about the Gorman Brother’s ranch? Majora’s Mask is filled with big creepy places that basically serve only one purpose. Inside the Pirate’s Fortress where they’re circling around in boats, is a gigantic pool with three treasures at the bottom what a waste. I want to fight a gigantic Kraken from Wind Waker again. The Beaver Dam is a big beautiful place, too bad it’s just used for racing. I’d love to see them add the Cave of Ordeals somewhere in the Goron Raceway, for instance. I’d love to see real Garos in the Gorman’s Ranch. All that good stuff.

4) Let Me Play After the Dawn of a New Day

A “Post Game Scenario” is what other games call it. After I beat Majora for the first time, the second time, let me play in “Dawn of a New Day.” Let me walk around and see what everyone is doing now that the world is no longer doomed. I want to go to Anju’s wedding. I saved their marriage. Don’t tell me I can’t go. I’ve heard of the “Fourth Day Glitch” but that’s not good enough. Maybe you can earn those extra Masks in the New Day.

3) Let Me Use the Giant's Mask in other Boss Rooms.

Another glitch let’s you put on the Giant’s Mask, but when you do, the game freezes. Obviously, because Link is growing giant and crashing through the ceiling. I’m just asking they modify the boss rooms to allow me to use the Giants Mask. Twinmold is already done, it wouldn’t cause any trouble in Odowal’s Boss Room, and you can modify Ghot’s Boss Room a little. I’d love to put up my guard and let that mechanical bull smack into my Mirror Shield. And you can let it intentionally suck against Gyorg. God, do I hate Gyorg.

2) Let Me Use the Fierce Deity's Mask Outside of Boss Rooms

This is another glitch that I want to see made official with a new subplot involving the Fierce Deity’s Mask. Without getting into fanfic territory, just let me talk to people and have them shocked there’s a “wild oni” of legend walking around Clock Town. Maybe you can use this as part of the 5 extra things I mentioned earlier.

1) Let Me Complete all of the Bomber's Notebook in One Cycle

 

If they can’t give me anything else, then at least let me have the satisfaction of obtaining all of the Happiness Stickers for the original twenty people of the Bomber’s Notebook. Right now, you can only get 17 of the twenty people, because certain entries contradict each other.  I’m just OCD about these things, and it bugs me that I can’t help all the people.

Fanboy Squee!!!

One website that I hate is superdickery.com  because every Superman hater loves to link to that site. Oblivious to the fact that Batman's "super-preparedness" has made him as boring and invincible as the Man of Steel. Guess they like that Batman's emo about it. But, Batman the Brave and the Bold just aired a new episode filled with references to some of Superman's dickish moments from the 1950s.

So, let's see how many I can identify.

Jimmy:

Lois:

King Superman:

And they're pretty funny. Mainly, cause I never thought I'd ever see any of that in Animation. Batman BttB gets some hate for not being all-serious like Batman the Animated Series, but it's given real DC fans a lot of cool moments that we'll never get anywhere else. But, my personal favorite, what actually made me "squee" with fanboy delight, are the references to Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns.

I might be looking too hard, but the battle begins with Superman floating over Batman like in DKR:

The Man of Steel gets one good punch that sends Batman flying through a building, in DKR he slams into a lampost:

Then Batman in BBatB starts a counter offensive starting with his punch from Hush:

Followed by the BatBoot to the face:

Then, followed by a punch:

But, just like DKR Batman had to fake his own death to prevent getting killed by Superman, BatB Batman only has to wait out the limit of the Red Kryptonite's effects. The whole fight lasts 3 minutes 20 seconds.

Geez, I can't believe I have to wait at least a YEAR before I get to own the DVDs with these episodes.

Oh, well, let's end with a shot from Justice:

Random Pokemon Story

One of my favorite TV shows is Pawn Stars. Usually, you see someone bring in a gun, and Rick says collectors like the guns to look their age. They still have to work and be mostly in one piece, but they like the patina on the guns. I'm sorta like that. I like that something looks like it's been used. So, I'm going to show off my original Red and Blue Pokemon games.

As you can see, the Gameboy has already turned yellow. My copy of Pokemon Red is perfectly fine, but my copy of Blue definitely has some wear.

And if you ever played on a Gameboy, GB Pocket, or GB Color, you know what causes that:

That comes from pulling the cartridge out with your sweaty palms, or thumbs. You were supposed to pull it out using the ridges on the edges, but most kids wouldn't be careful enough to do that at first. After really wearing down my blue version, I decided to take better care of my Red version.


So, let's talk Pokemon on the original Gameboy. Back then, it didn't have color or a brightness setting, instead the original brick had a Contrass setting on the side. I still remember one morning in school, a girl borrowed my Gameboy, played a little and said I had it set way too dark. She fixed it, and I was amazed how much detail on the sprites I had never seen. That was so cool.

Now, going back to the Contrass, as the Gameboy lost power, the screen became lighter and lighter. There was this one time, I was playing through Blaine's Gym. I faced the Gym Leader and didn't dare to switch out my pokemon, I decided to power on through with just my Venusaur. And it must have been my first play-through, since I never picked Venusaur again. At the darkest setting, the screen was practically blank. I was using "regular strength" batteries, which was why the Gameboy had drained them so quickly.

I manged to beat Blaine and save my game. But, there was another time, I wasn't so lucky.

One of my favorite Pokemon has to be Magmar, based on looks alone. I've always wanted to train a Magmar. So, I spent more than an hour looking around Cinnabar Islands waiting to encounter one. I finally did, I whittled it down and managed to catch it.

But, but then my batteries crapped out. Right in the middle of saving. And you know what happened next. My entire file was erased, and I rage-quit for months. I still haven't trained one. He never manages to fit into my team. But, when I get Pokemon White, I plan on trading in a baby Magby.Finally, I'll get to see what the duck of doom can do.

How Much Complaining are You Allowed?

Nary a week goes by without getting my weekly bulletin from a friend with the startling news that "People are complaining on the internet!" Then I go through the motions, "Yeah, people just don't get it." And the majority of the time, it's true. Skim the youtube comments section and you'll see an uncountable amount of poster insisting, "They should bring back Animaniacs!" or, "Cartoons today suck."

This is clearly a case of nostalgia and fanboyism. You won't like cartoons today, because you're smarter than you were 10-15 years ago. And, if they did bring Animaniacs back, the newer episodes would automatically be measured against the old episodes, more than likely be found lacking, and you'll hear accusations of "Warner Brothers is raping my childhood."

Fanboys. End of Discussion.

Or, so I thought. Back when I used to read comics, I ran into an interesting conundrum. A comic comes out, and a fan dislikes it, or more often "hates" it, and the normal response would be, "If you don't like it. Don't buy it." The following month, same book, fan dislikes it, they said "Don't like it. Don't buy it." The fan replies, "I didn't buy it. I read it at the store." And they reply, "Your complaint doesn't count, because you didn't buy it."

Truth be told.,"Don't like it. Don't buy it," really is the mantra to adopt when you want to see change. Less sales (or views) means less ad revenue, and less money for everyone involved. But, that mantra seems to imply that if you're paying for something, it's perfect the way it is. It's entirely possible for something to hit a low point, and the fan will want to push it in a more favorable direction.

You see, the worst kind of fanboys tune out any attempts at reasoning. But, by ignoring them, I'm also not being reasonable. Maybe, there is something wrong with Power Rangers. Maybe, cartoons today aren't as good by some degree. You have to keep Sturgeon's Law in mind, though. I don't hear people praising Marsupilami, or asking for a Men in Black revival.

Hooray for the Thundercats reboot! Anyone remember TigerSharks? Or the Extreme Dinosaurs? Or the Street Sharks?

Oh, yes. My point. The question: "How much complaining are you allowed?" Infinite. But, only the reasonable ones will be listened to (for the next season, or story arc). I got to thinking about it because I'm coining a new term, the "FanMan." You might have heard it before in a negative connotation, but I'm making it my own. A FanMan can find faults in the things he likes, and find merits in things he doesn't like. In my pursuit to remain unbiased, I should strive to exemplify the FanMan.

In my left hand is the Fan of Contemplation.

My right hand is on my mouse.

The Fire Temple Music

Game Trailers has a new show called Popfiction where they investigate some of urban legends of games. Like "Catching Mew in Pokemon," and the "Stop-N-Swap" in Banjo-Kazooie. They recently uploaded a video about Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and the music from the Fire Temple. You should watch for yourself:

Fire Temple Chants

I'm a BIG Legend of Zelda fan, and I've always been a little ashamed that I missed out on getting the original gold cartridge. Like I said, I didn't have much cash growing up, so I couldn't get the game right when it came out. But, I'm happy to see that I at least was able to snag a copy of one of the unaltered games. A year later, I did save up my cash and got the special edition of Majora's Mask, though.

 

Since this IS called, "Compulsion to Collect," I should consider tracking down a copy of the gold cartridge for Ocarina. I guess I'll add it to "the list." For now I guess I can ask, "What version of Ocarina do you have?" 

Dragonball: The Latin American Dub

The first anime that I really got into was Dragonball. I originally caught the first dub of Dragonball by Funimation back when I was twelve, when Funi only dubbed the first 13 episodes. About a year later, I rediscovered Dragonball being aired on spanish television and was hooked ever since.

And we got the entire series WAY before the U.S. did. I remember one time, reading someone's reaction, they were barely out of the Sayajin Saga when he learned that the series had ended two years ago in Mexico. Like he expected for the U.S. to ALWAYS get things first.

We had a WAY better dub in Mexico for the longest time, too. Funimation was forced to dumb it down for broadcast, but we got it mostly uncut and unedited. If I had to guess why, it's probably because Funi was so small then, and their voice actors weren't as seasoned. On the other hand, in Mexico EVERYTHING is dubbed, so there was a bigger talent pool to pick from.

You know that terribly Dragonball Evolution movie? (I'll post about that eventually) They got most of the Voice Actors from the series when they dubbed it into Spanish.

I should point out that as good as the Spanish dub was, it wasn't perfect. For starters they DID cut somethings and edited where they needed it. They mainly cut the nudity, either cut it down or completely when they could. And they never kept Roshi's "pat-pat" stuff. He was still a lecherous old man, but they either completely changed or toned down what he said. When Goku brings a Mermaid to Kame House, Roshi asked for her shoe instead of her panties. And when he's revived at the end of the Picoro Saga, he asks "Si me cosinas un huachinango de este tamano."

"Cook me a Red Snapper this big."

I guess you can read into what he means by "Red Snapper." You didn't know what he said, but you knew what he was saying.

The other problem with the Latin American dub was that some of the voices repeat, especially in the incidental voices. José Luis Castañeda's unmistakable raspy robotic tone popped up every saga. Sometimes voices would change from one episode to another. Like King Cold who was first voiced by Humberto Solórzano, then replaced by José Luis Castañeda. Once, Picoro's regular voice actor was replaced for one episode and his voice changed to José Luis Castañeda. I've developed a personal running gag about José Luis Castañeda. You could have a drinking game if Dragonball wasn't so long.

"Te amo, Krilin."

I guess the purpose of this post is to get my special type of Nostalgia on record. Dragonball is one of my childhood favorites, but I don't like the same "brand" of Dragonball that everyone around me seems to like. Without going on Spanish websites, it's hard to find someone who watched the series. (Duh. I know) Later on, I'll be rewatching/ reviewing the series, and I want to have it down from what perspective I'm approaching it from. The series has garnered a reputation on the internet; often called the "Greatest Anime of All Time" and just as often cited as the dumbest, most overrated anime of all time. My never-ending struggle to maintain an unbiased opinion compels me to give my most nostalgic series a complete once-over and finally pin down the series strengths and weaknesses.

Oh, and "Rock the Dragon" sucked.

First Spotlight - Spotlight On: Daredevil by Frank Miller

Okay, when I do a "Spotlight On" something, it'll be something that I like and wish more people would try out. When it comes to comics, I'm really writing it for people who are starting to get into comics and/or are looking for recommendations.  Sometimes, when you ask for recommendations on the internet, you'll get a replies saying "READ DEADPOOL NAO!" or "Grant Morrison's Batman is awesome," and you don't often get a clear enough answer to why they're awesome and why you should read it immediately. So, I'm going to describe why I think Daredevil by Frank Miller is worth checking out.

Full disclosure, I'm mainly a DC fan. Sure, Marvel always outsells DC from month to month, but most comic book nerds will admit that the House of Ideas doesn't make enough comics that hold up in the long run. That's because Marvel's just as bogged down by "events" as DC comics. But, when I got bored by DC's new direction, I decided to look at other publishers and find those rare, good stories that stand the test of time. I already owned Frank Miller's acclaimed Batman: the Dark Knight Returns, so I looked up his character defining run on Daredevil.

Daredevil started out as basically a rip-off of Spider-Man. (Stan Lee co-created the character.) Instead of Spider Sense, Daredevil has Radar Senses, and he jump over rooftops and swings using a grappling hook built into his club. It was an attempt to make an adult version of a guy with similar powers. Matt Murdock is Daredevil. He was blinded when he was young by a radioactive isotope that gave him his radar senses and amplified his other senses. That's really all you need to know going in.

Frank Miller's run on Daredevil begins in Daredevil #158 as DD faces some random super villain. Immediately after clearing that up, in Daredevil #159, the Slaughter Gang is hired to kill the Man Without Fear the events of this issue serve as a launching point for the rest of the run.

Now, what I hear from anime/manga fans is that comic books aren't as good as manga because they never end. And, that manga is superior because it is always drawn and written its creator. That is technically true, a comic book character will go through multiple writers and artists. What they don't know is that a writer will usually introduce a new idea or plots when he comes into a character, and they'll "pay off" their idea by the end of their tenure as writer.

In the case of Frank Miller's original run on Daredevil, it boils down to a story of Bullseye's obsession with Daredevil and the repercussions of that. Bullseye, by the way. is the deadliest assassin the Marvel Universe. So, Bullseye "shadow" falls across the entire 33 issues. This is also the time the Kingpin moved away from antagonizing Spider-Man and firmly became a Daredevil villain. And the introduction of Elektra. Plus, about half a dozen subplots that I'd prefer not to spoil. But, everything that's worth knowing about the character stems from these issues.

Along the way, you'll also see Miller refine his art, going from the generic "house style" to his own unmistakable style. Besides themes of obsession, you'll see depression and unrequited love. You can even find hints of misogyny that Miller is sometimes accused of. My personal favorite is Matt Murdock's always unlucky girlfriend, Heather Glenn.  (Poor, poor, Heather Glenn.) Not to mention, despite the comic's general darker tone, Miller knew how to inject humor into the series.

It is, in my opinion, one of the most perfect run of issues by any writer in any comic book.

I'm lucky enough to own the Frank Miller & Klaus Janson Daredevil Omnibus that was printed a few years back. But, you can find Frank Miller's original run on Daredevil as "Daredevil Visionaries - Frank Miller" Volumes 1, 2, & 3.

Daredevil Visionaries - Frank Miller Vol. 1

Daredevil Visionaries - Frank Miller Vol. 2

Daredevil Visionaries - Frank Miller Vol. 3

Now might be a good time to look them up, because they might fall out of print soon, making them way more expensive.  So, don't delay.

My "Secret" Origin

I am twenty-five years old, and I first moved to the United States when I was five. I can still remember sitting with the teacher's aid in second grade trying to learn how to pronounce the letter "Z." It was on that day that I decided that I always wanted to be understood. So, I learned to speak English fluently and then (years later) amended my resolution to also be fair, levelheaded, and unbiased.

It would have been a good origin story if I had grown up to be judge, lawyer, or a police officer, but I'm just a drone, pushing papers at an office. But, I am a nerd, and the internets are rife with unfair and biased journalism and commentators, and so I'm climbing on my soapbox to add my voice to the discussion.

Let me be clear, this is not going to be a political blog. This is going to be another nerd blog where I discuss nerdy things that are on my mind and every now and then review games or movies. I assure you I am not auditioning to get on one of the more popular review sites. I'm just doing this on my spare time.

I'm not saying that my opinions are better than other people's opinions. Opinions are just opinions. Just that, as a consumer, it's sometimes hard to look past either the hype or the hate, so I'm going to try to express my opinions with the least amount of hyperbole.

What am I going to talk about? Well, my interests are video games, anime, cartoons, movies, tv shows, comic books, toys, and card games. Right off the bat, I can tell you that I'll be writing about Filler/Padding in Anime. Also, Dragonball/Z/GT.How to get into comic books. Stand Alone Comic Books. Wonder Woman. Among other things.

Oh, and why is it called Compulsion to Collect? I grew up in the lower class income range. I was never hungry, but luxuries were exactly that: luxuries. I've concluded that my compulsion to collect stems from a need to prove to myself that I'm not poor. "I'm not poor, look at all the useless crap I own!"